I am having the worst day ever. I just feel fat and hideous and I'm depressed cause I still don't have a job (the last one I had was temporary) and I have no money and my stomach is growling right now as my mom makes chicken but I am not going to eat. I feel like I'm about to explode with sadness and frustration. Worst feeling ever. I also want to dye my hair light brown/blonde but I can't cause I have no money right now. I'm just mad about everything and am worried about what I'm gonna do after university; I just want to move to California now and begin my life. Besides my family, I'm surrounded by bitches and idiots everywhere and I need a fresh start. And I just keep picturing my body being at 103 pounds (my ultimate goal weight).

And I just want it so bad. I can't keep making excuses. I'm going to make it happen; this is my year.